Lionel for mayor

Posted at 5:32 PM, Aug 25, 2013
and last updated 2013-09-02 14:31:14-04

I am a native New Yorker born elsewhere and not one candidate even comes close to approximating the issues that concern me.
What are they? I’m glad you asked. First, if I were elected mayor, I would immediately mandate that everyone must walk in the direction of their face to avoid people walking along sidewalks smack dab into you.