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Ukrainian ‘killer dolphins’ with guns on the loose? Maybe not …

Posted at 1:49 PM, Mar 14, 2013
and last updated 2013-03-14 13:56:51-04

It’s Dr. Evil’s frickin’ dream come true. According to published reports, there is a pack of Ukrainian killer dolphins armed with guns and knives on the loose in the Black Sea.

The three highly-trained attack dolphins equipped with weapons attached to their flippers have gone AWOL in this bizarre science fiction scenario.

The dolphins were reportedly trained by the Ukrainian Navy and use special knives and firearms to kill enemy divers.

Reports say these murderous mammals went rogue, escaping their caged tanks in search of some tail because killer dolphins apparently need love too.

Oddly enough, the American military also has a dolphin program — a boring and less exciting program, where they aren’t trained to shoot or stab divers.

Yawn.

Since this report made international headlines, some say it may be a hoax but in our mind, the classic Simpson’s Treehouse Horror “The Night Of The Dolphin”  may have been on to something.