Find out how to get the most out of your relationship

Posted at 4:13 PM, Feb 05, 2013
and last updated 2013-02-05 16:14:59-05

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it’s time to ask yourself the question: Are you getting the most out of your relationship?

One of the leading experts in the art of persuasion, presentation and negotiation skills, lifestyle expert Karen Exkorn has worked with top fashion industry clients like Tommy Hilfiger, Sean John and Georgio Armani, and has coached over 10,000 individuals on how to win over a boss or client.

Now, Karen Exkorn, who recently penned the sexy parody, Fifty Two Shades of Blue-ish, has taken her expertise from the boardroom to the bedroom to show us just how easy it is to persuade your partner the way you would persuade your client or boss and she stopped by the PIX11 Morning News to share her strategies.

 1.  LEARN THE SECRETS OF BODY LANGUAGE – Use open body language.  Don’t cross your arms in front of your chest.  Try not to cross your legs.   But if you do cross your legs, then cross them towards the person you’re talking to.

2.  KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR VOICE  – In the boardroom, you want to speak in a full, resonant voice.  But sometimes, when you want to emphasize a point, you can bring your volume down, to get people to lean in and listen.  You can also use this trick with your partner.  Bring the volume of your voice down so that your partner has to lean in to listen to you.  You can also use a technique called vocal mirroring, where you mirror the other person’s voice initially, and then dial down your own voice to make it softer and sexier.  Subconsciously, your partner will start to mirror you.

3.  DRESS FOR THE PART – You always hear the expression “dress for the job you want.”  It’s important in the corporate world to dress a certain way.  When you are pitching an idea, you wear clothes that are more open.  Avoid a turtleneck or anything too buttoned up.  Translation in a love relationship — wear a neckline that’s open, or more low-cut.

4.  READ A BOOK TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD – In the corporate world, you can find inspiration in a leadership book.  But in a relationship, you might seek out erotica.  Think of it as a “literary libido booster.” My recommendation would be reading “Fifty Two Shades of Blue-ish” (a sexy parody of that “other” book).

5. EXPERIENCE MINDFULNESS WITH YOUR PARTNER  – Multi-tasking is a myth!  People try to do it in the corporate world and it’s not effective. Mindfulness helps you focus on one thing.  A Simple trick to get you into the mindfulness state:  Take a Hershey’s Kiss and unwrap it.  Then close your eyes and place it in your mouth.  Focus your attention on the feeling of the smooth chocolate on your tongue and inhale to take in the sumptuous smell.  Then slowly and deliberately chew and swallow, enjoying all of the yummy sensations. The results? In addition to experiencing the sensual effects of the chocolate, you’ll also experience a sense of “mindfulness.”  Mindfulness is great because it forces you to “be in the moment,” which is especially helpful in the bedroom!